2016年8月7日 星期日

Samples for Topic Guided Writing

學測衝刺教學:命題式英文作文分享(二)

學測作文近年來命題形式除先前分享的看圖寫作外,也可能出現和指考作文類似的「命題式作文」和「書信寫作」。今天再分享一篇同學以Choosing a Second Foreign Language為題所寫成的文章吧。

題目:Choosing A Second Foreign Language

正如神聖羅馬帝國的查理曼大帝所說︰To have another language is to possess a second soul.(學會另一種語言就如同擁有了另一個靈魂)。學習新語言除可強化記憶力、增加工作前景、方便環遊世界外,更重要的是,每多學一種語言,就可多了解一種文化,無形中培養出多元思考的習慣,為自己的人生開啟許許多多「可能」。當選擇第二外語時,哪種語言是你的首選呢?又選擇這個語言的理由為何?一旦熟悉這語言後,你想做些什麼?

初稿:老師於課堂上講解寫作方向,提示詞彙片語後,請同學於週間完成初稿,並寄至學測衝刺教學指定信箱。
If I can master one foreign language, it will be French. The reason why I choose it is that it is widely used throughout Africa, which is predicted to let the company there earn the fortune, especially electric engineering. 評)需多說明為何非洲有發展電機工程及賺錢的潛力。最後需重整句子,讓句意更清楚。

If I master French, first I would start my electric engineering business there.
(評)說清楚因果關係,並做好第一段和第二段的過渡 ex: 因為我看中非洲的所以我想在那創業,所以我必須精通法文。With its cheap labor, abundant solar and wind resources, vast tracts of land, and closeness to major markets, I could reduce much of my cost and thus my company has more chance to thrive. Stacks and stacks of money will go nowhere but into my pocket. However, the purpose I start business there isn't just for my ambition in making a fortune, but increase the well-educated population there and make people in Africa have a better level life.  (評)將句子縮短些,強調公司獲利同時還要回饋當地,協助非洲人過好生活。 Electrical engineering requires high technique and high degree, which can attract elites around the world to Africa. Therefore,(評)不要只以公司營運賺錢為主軸,要承接上一句(企業有社會責任),說明要如何回饋,這樣比較順。basic facilities, sanitation system and educational institutions will all be constructed. Then the living level there will be improved. That is, the poor can have right for studying and even have right for having a toilet at home.(評)感覺沒收尾,結尾句可調整一下,回到學新語言對你的影響,這樣才有前後呼應,扣緊題目的效果。

二修:下周上課,老師領著同學一起完成細部調整,調整方向涵蓋用字 / 文法 / 句型 / 文章結構 / 劇情邏輯等等,二修即最終定稿。定稿後,學生接著背誦自己的文章,將單字句構進一步內化。

If I can master one foreign language, it will be French. The reason why I choose it is that it is widely used throughout Africa, where I, a prospective electric engineering major, see bright future for solar energy exports. I can envision solar panels stretching out over the vast Sahara desert and soaking up the sun to generate clean, green power. The continent is a gold mine for energy planners.

Since I would like to start a renewable energy company in Africa, I would choose French as my second foreign language and work to achieve high fluency in French. With Africa’s cheap labor, abundant solar and wind resources, vast tracts of land, and closeness to major markets, I could reduce much of my cost and thus my company has more chance to thrive. Stacks and stacks of money will go nowhere but into my pocket. However, my purpose for starting a business in Africa isn’t just to set my inner entrepreneur free but also to make contributions to improving the lives of African people. Therefore, I will reinvest the profits I’ve earned to enhance education, healthcare, and sanitation in African communities through various programmes. In short, not only does learning a new foreign language boost my career prospects but it changes the way I see and interact with the world.

沒有留言:

張貼留言